Introspection

I sit here in the burning sun,
Thoughts blowing through my head.
Questions and answers, I have none,
As I sit here on the ground so red.

The world slows down around me,
Time filters all that I see,
My memories change about the past,
Everything seems to have happened so fast.
My past is filled with legend and lore,
My future is filled with even more.

I live for now, I live for the present,
I see the moon, both the disc and the crescent.
I see the sun, both scorching and cool,
I see the stars, both the wise and the fool,
I see the earth, both chained and free,
And through all this, I see me.

My life is filled with uncertainty,
Yet I live it with impunity.
My past was far from serenity,
Yet I keep a fond memory.
My future has no assurity,
Yet I view it with confident immunity.
My present is a struggle for equality,
Between my past and my future, for me to be me.

When people ask me again, why?
I see no reason for me to lie.
I tell them I want to break free,
I tell them I want to be me.

I fell in love, and I fell back out.
I fell down, and I couldn’t shout.
I fell hard, and I fell deep.
Long did I cry, and long did I weep.
I pleaded for help, I cried for aid,
I screamed till I heard the echoes fade.
I cried and cried, but no one came,
Day after day, it remained the same.
I despaired in that never-ending night,
Waiting for some sign of light.
At last a glare I did see,
And that light came from me.

I pulled myself out on that uncertain rope,
I pulled myself out of that enclosing coal,
I pulled myself out on that line of hope,
That I can pull myself out of that bottomless hole!

I left behind a scene of utter devastation,
All around me there was death and destruction.
There were hardly any pieces left for inspection,
There seemed no hope of resurrection.

For a month and another, all was dark and dreary,
Wandering a dead world, I grew weary,
So I sat myself down to write some poetry.
Summoning all the strength I could borrow,
I wrote of the pain, I wrote of the sorrow,
But most of all, I wrote of a better tomorrow.

As I write the world grows bright,
Light floods in, gone is the dark,
The world around me is an amazing sight,
Sounds awaken; the birds sing, the dogs bark.
Green trees grow out of the gloom,
I was dead, now I’m born again.
Life around me begins to bloom,
And upon my face, I feel the fresh rain.

Life grows where I had once lain,
Strength immeasurable flows through my vein,
From madness, I grow more than sane,
I’m through with the torture, I feel no pain.

I was lost in the midst of civilization,
Now, I am life!
I would suffer immensely at the hands of others,
Now, I am pain!
I was stumbling and falling in the blind dark,
Now, I am light!
I would beg and pray for mercy,
Now, I am God!

-Aviv Nair
4/1/2006